Daryeel Magazine
Before we continue let’s first sincerely ponder over the following hadeeth (Prophetic Narration):
Jabir reported that Allaah’s Messenger (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) said,
“Iblees places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says, ‘I did so and so.’ And he says: ‘You have done nothing.’ Then one amongst them comes and says, ‘I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife’. The Satan goes near him and says, ‘You have done well.’” (Saheeh Muslim)
‘A’amash (a great scholar and one of the narrators of this hadeeth) said,
‘He then embraces him.’
Be grateful to your husband. Remind yourself that it’s a tough world out there and your husband works very hard to provide for you. So whatever you do, don’t compare him to other men, unless it is favorably. Let him know that you appreciate his efforts, not just through your words, but also your actions.
Be sensitive to his moods, feelings and needs. For example, don’t start complaining or burden him with problems as soon as he comes home; rather, welcome him and make him feel good to be home.
Be cheerful and humorous, smile often, don’t feel shy to be affectionate with your husband and make him feel really happy to be around you. Express your love frequently and creatively, rather than waiting for him to do so first.
Make sure you serve him the foods he likes, remembering that variety is the spice of life. Try to eat together as this fosters companionship.
Dress up for your husband at home. Wear the colors and clothes that he likes to see you in and use makeup, perfume, jewelry – in short, whatever it takes to be attractive to him.
Do things together or at least allocate some time of the day to give him your undivided attention. Be sincere in appreciating him, show interest in his day, his activities, his thoughts and opinions. Give him advice and comfort him when needed.
Spend your husband’s money carefully and try to keep him informed of where his money is being spent. Remember not to spend large amounts of his money without his permission.
Show care and concern for his relatives as this is a sure way of securing a place in his heart. Never object when he spends on them, as this is a source of abundance in provision and increase in life span.
Don’t fly into a rage when you have a difference of opinion or he criticizes you. Stay calm, control your tongue and don’t challenge your husband’s authority at that time. Use your wisdom, tactics and powers of persuasion later on, and then try to explain your point of view.
Believe the best, not the worst about him. Be forgiving and accept apologies graciously rather than holding grudges and bringing up mistakes of the past.
Show respect for your husband by not divulging your private and confidential issues to others, or by complaining about him to people or discussing your marital problems with those who cannot help you.
Last, but not least, remember that your husband is the head of the family and as long as obedience to him does not entail any sin, it is your duty to obey him. Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said,
“Any woman who dies and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.”
